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Research staff

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Assertiveness

As a member of research staff you may often feel that you are:

  • letting other people's priorities override your own
  • saying ‘yes' when you would really like to say ‘no'
  • agreeing to do work which has no direct benefit for you.

‘Passive' behaviour can lead to negative feelings including frustration, low self-esteem, anger and depression. 

Developing assertiveness skills can help you to be more honest about how you feel, leading to a greater sense of control and improved self-esteem.

What is assertiveness? 

Assertiveness is being able to express your own needs in a confident manner and maintaining a good relationship with those you are communicating with.  It should not be confused with passive or aggressive behaviour... Being assertive is non-confrontational and recognises that just because your view may differ from that of another it does not follow that they are wrong!
 University of Bradford Assertiveness Guidance
 

This Assertiveness Checklist (PDF) from A Coach for Champions Inc. may help you to assess how assertive you currently are.

Working assumptions for assertive behaviour

  • You have rights and you should expect others to respect them
  • Other people have rights, which you should respect
  • You should be honest with others, and with yourself
  • You should communicate what you need, feel or want both directly and confidently.

Tips for improving assertiveness

1.     Listen to what the other person wants or needs
2.     Communicate clearly what you want or need
3.     Try and find a solution that serves you both
Your research manager asks you to stay late one Wednesday evening to discuss the results of an experiment.  You explain that you have a Spanish class in the evening and that you don't want to miss it, but you offer to come in an hour earlier in the morning to have the meeting instead.
 

Listening

  • Make eye contact but do not stare
  • Nod or give verbal cues (‘yes' or ‘uh huh') to show that you are listening
  • Summarise what they have said to check understanding
  • Ask questions to clarify meaning.

Communication

  • Don't apologise, make excuses or give lengthy explanations
  • Be succinct - state what you want or need as clearly as possible
  • Recognise that you are often stating opinion rather than fact - use ‘I think that...', ‘I believe that...', ‘in my opinion it...' This allows room for the other person to express their opinions too
  • Be prepared to re-state your position if the other person does not seem to have accepted or heard it the first time.

I appreciate the urgency but I can't stay tonight as I've got an evening class.  I could come in an hour earlier tomorrow, but what I can't do is to stay later tonight

  • Make good eye contact
  • Be positive and friendly
  • Stay calm.

Reaching agreement

  • Identify and state the things that you agree on
  • Avoid blame and focus on finding a solution
  • Aim for a win/win situation, i.e. one that you are both happy with!

 

Most universities run workshops on assertiveness skills.  Contact your staff development office for more information.

 

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